New Love, Young Love

Upon catching up with what’s up and what’s hot on the big screen, I realized that my taste in movies have changed through time. I used to go for the teeny-flicks that are light to digest. However, lately, I’ve been so tied up with those that are for grown-ups and about grown-ups. I would, most of the time, catch myself picking a story about a marriage than about a new, young love on a stockpile of pirated dvds along the streets.

It’s maybe because I’ve been giving a lot of thought to the future, to my future. I like to think how it would be like to be married.

Growing up, I’ve seen my parents’ marriage as normal. I don’t remember waking up in the middle of the night to witness them yelling and screaming at each other. I don’t even remember my dad not coming home at night except on business trips. Sure, they have had misunderstandings but that’s pretty much it. I didn’t see them undergoing through a major mess.

Watching these movies about married people though (like Jane Austen’s Book Club, Feast of Love), I realized that marriage is not at all easy. Seeing my parents’ marriage as a success shouldn’t make me complacent that I would have a successful one too. It may be concealed to us, but they have had as well invested a great deal to stay together for 34 years now.

But then, as someone who likes to think fast forward time, I think I know exactly how to keep a marriage, and how to keep it burning. Feeling the same fervor to one person for years is no easy thing. It is not effortless too; you have to learn the trick. You have to preserve and keep doing the things that have always made you so hooked on each other. Yet, you should also learn and try new things together. Always renew a love that would make you feel young again, and you’ll realize you cannot get enough of each other.

I met him 1 year and 8 months ago. Since then, we see each other on a daily basis but the feeling just grows more and more intense day by day. The love always feels so new and young, and I know, for the following years, we will remain inseparable.

Short Notice

This latest movie I watched, Dedication, really got me thinking.

I have a thing for writers in movies and even in books.

Writers are publicized as incredibly profound, interestingly sensitive, awkwardly mushy, and weirdly beautiful.

I have to attest that in real life, they are. Or at least, the one I got.=)

Keeping my Hopes Up-High

Here’s to hoping that tomorrow when I wake up, the sun would finally shine upon me.

I have never been this stressed and exhausted my whole life. I have never been this occupied. My body and mind are both very much used up during the day and night, yet, there are still things left unfinished, left untouched even.

My eyes are wide open for, God knows how many days or weeks already. Tonight’s actually the first time of the week that I’ll be spending the night in my dorm room again. I am always either in the newsroom pressing my brain cells to come up with a decent lead for the feature article, or, I am in my classmate’s apartment and still discharging concerns and matters about having to publish our newspaper on time. And, the way we deal with the tension, which is eating non-stop, isn’t doing any good. I gained more than a couple of kilos. But of course, that should be the least of my worries now.

I feel terrible, up to the point of needing to shed some tears. Is it supposed to be this hard? I mean, does it really have to get to a point wherein I would be having no choice but to give up one thing for the other? I have deadlines to beat tomorrow. Sadly, I would not be able to pass the most important of all, which is one part of my thesis proposal. As much as I am willing to miss a few hours of sleep for that, I still would not be able to do it.

But then again, this entry is not supposed to be all rants and raves. Here’s still to hoping that tomorrow when I wake up, I’ll be in good sense again.

This too shall pass, and I’ll be forever carrying with me all the lessons learned during this roughest time (so far) of my life.