Friday, August 3, 2007

So this is how the guilt feels.

This is that one thing I’ve been dreading the most – hurting someone who least deserve it, by letting the monster out off me.

One minute I’m lovely – sweet, caring, and gentle- the minute after, I’m horrible – capricious, offensive, and rough.

Why do I keep on unlearning things?

Even I, feel confused with the way I act, with the way I (accidentally) hurt him, with the way I try to ruin our supposedly happy times.

And so suddenly, I just found myself crying out all the guilt inside. So many painful words slipped off my mouth, but I am really guilty inside. But then, the words still lost their balance. Why?

For that I hate myself.

And I hate myself more. Because after every twinge in the heart, and mind (and ego) I caused him, there he was, never allowing me to get out of his tight grip.

Guilty.

3 comments:

Benedict Isles said...

i love you so much baby..

i know i've been so inconsiderate and insensitive the past days.. pero sweetie, yknow i can't lose you.. i'll keep you forever. i'll be as patient as always. kaw din ha? heheh..

larissa said...

hay...friend ur lucky bene's like that. love you both.. =) sweet. =)

mAdeL said...

awww..speechless!!!hahahaha..

bene's the most patient person i've ever met..hahaha..at may mga gantong factors pa sa cooment??yikee..

miss you pepay..now i'll be updated on "the" lovelife na..
*hugs*